Blended In Grace

The struggles are real, but if we are aware we can see the beauty and blessings within. My husband and I got married and we brought along with us children of our own. Kind of like the “Brady Bunch”, only real. This is what we call blending families. This should be simple, right? When two people fall in love we often think that is the end of the story, but it truly is the beginning.

We began our journey with ease and then the work began. I say work, but I do not mean to imply it was unwanted, or grueling. We both very much wanted this to work, but it was not just going to happen on it’s own. This is where we realized that in order to blend well we needed grace upon grace!

Grace is a gift and is not something earned or bought. In our family we quickly realized that we were not perfect, and this was not easy. So, first, we had to learn to give ourselves grace. Secondly, in realizing that our children were not perfect either, we had to give them grace as well. The truth is no-one is perfect, but sometimes in a blended family we tend to see our own in a more favorable light. Grace allowed for us to be real, and real together.

We have been a family for over ten years now and in that time we had many ups and many downs, but we are still here a family in this together! The key to any family, I believe, is unconditional, unwavering love and acceptance. This was what we worked towards, even when we didn’t always feel it. How do you do that in the dark times, in the difficult? Well, like everything we need help! This is where God comes in and His grace that covered all of us.

God is love and apart from Him we cannot truly love. What is love? 1 Corinthians13:4-7, Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” If we are honest here, we all fall short of loving according to this, on our own anyways. This brought us to the realization that we needed more God’s way and less our way.

God’s way came through surrendering our family and ourselves to His will. This started with a dedicated decision to be a family through thick and thin, followed by patience in the waiting periods that seemed dim. You cannot just simply wish for a loving family with a hands off approach. Everyone needs to know that they are loved and accepted no-matter what, but that does not mean there are no rules. Rules and boundaries are very important! What I mean here is, we were all allowed to grow and move within grace.

We have grown from his and mine, to Ours! Our experiences are real and our family is as well, but we have learned that love is real, grace is real and family is forever!

My intention with this page is encourage others who may find themselves struggling with blending their family. In all this, it is to reveal the very heart of a God who accepted us with an unconditional and welcoming love!